Hey Brewer

An umpire takes a fastball to the coconut? What are his possible reactions?

“Golly that was unexpected”

“I would have preferred it if you had caught that Mr. Pierzynski.”

“Did I leave the iron on?”

Hmmm. Fuck! That was unexpected. Thankfully for us ESPN dove right into that open mic replay without previewing it or having that dump button ready. Well played ESPN, well played indeed.

Via Awful Announcing

OK a guy on my soccer team sent this to me, and I quote “Check this out..This has HeyBrewer written all over it.” And for the record, the dude was right, Kudos Geoff.

While I am not an avid gamer, or any sort of gamer really (Kylarrr the Brave!!!), I would definitely play this ish even if it was simply out of respect for the promo. In fact, this game may or may not be out yet, I really have no idea. Irregardless, enjoy. I may or may not add more to this later.

DISCLAIMER: I spent the last 2 weeks out of the country so unfortunately most of my NCAA action was restricted to reading box scores on ESPN and sneaking peeks at my Blackberry score updates during lunch and dinner. I arrived back home over the weekend and was excited that I would get to watch the Memphis-Texas game as well as the Davidson-Kansas game.

The reason I give that disclaimer is because up until yesterday I was completely unaware of the existence of this ad by the Sheraton Hotel:

Who the fuck was the marketing genius behind this? I’m guessing it’s someone who did not attend any of the schools shown in the video. As a USC guy, I can tell you that the dislike for UCLA come sporting time is genuine. During the year it’s not such a big deal, the schools are located pretty far apart from each other and when we ventured into Westwood we weren’t worried about UCLA students shooting us. But prior to a big football game or in recent years a competitive inter-conference basketball game, there was a whole different atmosphere. I can guarantee you that no real Trojans fan would hold open an elevator or go out of their way to do anything for a Bruin at one of these events. Same goes for the Bruins…and that’s the way it should be.

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On last week’s EliteXC Strikeforce event, there was a surprise appearance midway through the show (reminiscent of a WWE event) by Kimbo Slice. Goldberg interviewed him in the middle of the ring and it turns out that he will be fighting on May 31st.

The crazy part about this fight is that it will be airing on CBS! That has to piss off Dana White and the UFC team. The UFC has been around for over 10 years and they’ve never received this kind of exposure from a major network. EliteXC hasn’t even been around for 2 years and they’ve only put on a total of 15 events. Now they have a deal with Showtime to put out a ShoXC event monthly and the rumor is that CBS will be airing a EliteXC special every other month on Saturday.

Kimbo’s opponent is unnamed as of yet but there are rumors swirling about. The 2 fighters I have heard mentioned as opponents are Ron Waterman and James Thompson. As of today, the rumor mill is abuzz with an inside source claiming that the matchup will be Kimbo v Thompson.

Here is Kimbo on Elite XC making his announcement:

Finally the glory that is baseball has returned.  I’m sure the games in Japan were interesting but the odds of me waking up at 3am to watch two American League teams I don’t care about were slim to say the least.  Last night was a great tease for the..ahem…Happy Ending (according to John Miller) that is todays all day long baseball orgy.  I have my predictions for the upcoming season which will be posted soon.  For now please enjoy the Nats beating the Bravos on the back of Ryan “Not quite David Wright” Zimmerman’s laser to left center in the bottom of the 9th (at least until MLB takes it down):

Mike Francesa and Chris Russo, better known as Mike and the Mad Dog, are probably the biggest sports radio hosts in the country.

They have the afternoon drive slot in New York City, are simulcast on YES across the country, and are comically rich. They also kinda suck. I know its the norm and perhaps a cliché to hate on the biggest stars (e.g. ESPN) but indulge me as we take a look at an example of the utter craptitude these guys spew. Mad Dog is a character and has never really bothered me that much. He plays a bit and says things he knows will piss off Mets, Yankees, Giants, etc. fans. Him being a SF Giants fan and Yankee-hater with general disdain and apathy for the Mets doesn’t help matters either. Francesa on the other hand is about as smug and as pompous as you can get. He think he knows any and everything about sports and lets you know it. He will go on and on and on for 3 hours about damn horse racing which no one under the age of 97 cares about. On top of this, he is a joyless person to listen to. He hates on everything and if you dare challenge him on the air he shouts over top of you and then cuts you off. It is a joy. He also offers little analysis or insight as can be seen in this clip. He will get an idea and repeat it ad nauseum. Today’s rant is about the possible acquisition of Brandon Inge:

Via Awful Announcing

Here is the game winning shot of USD over UConn.  Having been to both beautiful San Diego and horridly snobby and usually freezing and dreary Connecticut this outcome is the only fair and just outcome that could have happened:

Actually I should say ho’s like Smush Parker…or maybe it’s Smush Parker that likes ho’s. Regardless, here is a vid I cam across on YouTube that features what I can only imagine is some downtime during a photo or commercial shoot.

Also, how had I not noticed that Smush Parker looks just like D’Angelo Barksdale?

Well, believe it or not, the Yankees released Billy Crystal today. In a not surprising move, they elected not to keep the inexperienced infielder/designated hitter after his short lived, yet highly famous strikeout. I must admit, after reviewing the at bat, I was actually a slightly impressed he made any contact with the ball whatsoever, managing to foul a couple of 50mph pitches off the end of his bat. Although, at the same time, I think I have faced more wicked pitching in the softball cage at Family Fun Center.

Billy’s first, and last, at bat:

In a spring training match between the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a brutal play at the plate in which the Yankees catchers wrist was broken, put into motion a tit for tat exchange that ultimately ended in a bench clearing brawl between the two teams. To follow that up, a Devil Ray player was beaned, and the pitcher was ejected. Later in the game, Yankee 2nd baseman Shelley Duncan, son of hard-core pitching coach Dave Duncan, dropped a groin high testicle teaser (Ty Cobb style) slide into 2nd base. While it didn’t seriously injure the Devil Ray player, it looked as though it might leave him in a bed next to our man Felix Pie, commiserating over their tandem testicular troubles. Watch the series of plays that set it off here (video quality is mediocre at best, but worth watching):