Apr 01 2008
Official (and useless) MLB Season Predictions v. 1.0
I’m still recovering from yesterdays all day baseball-fest as Opening Day hit most of the stadiums across the States. I was on my couch for so long I started to develop hypostasis in my arse and legs. The highlights of the day include:
The Bucs avoiding a 2 out, shouldda been game ending fly ball as if it had been dipped in the plague, allowing the tying runs to score capping off a 5 run bottom of the 9th inning for the Braves. The Bucs did come back and win on the back of X-Man’s 2nd HR.
Johan absolutely dominated the hapless Marlins while Fukudome and Wood make their marks on the North Side and the Cubbies promptly lose.
Needless to say the Bucs, Royals, DRays, and Nats all winning did wonders for El Doctor’s bank account. Don’t worry though, I will end this on the plus side with the bookie…or lose my son. Despite this, here are my official predictions for the upcoming season. Should you find yourself in Las Vegas (or in front of a computer) feel free to heed my advice and win some hard earned money.
AL East AL Central AL West
Red Sox Tigers Angels
Yankees Indians A’s
BJays Twinkies Mariners
DRays Royals Texas
Orioles White Sox
AL Wild Card:
Indians
The Sawks lack of pitching is a worry as Dice-K has yet to prove hi is a front line starter and Schilling is apparently dead. However, the Yankees pitching is a joke. Pettitte and Moose will have to have late 90’s early 00’s type seasons to keep them in contention and I can’t see that happening.The Drays will still suck but should be interesting to watch on offense particularly Upton and Crawford.
I love the Tigers and Indians and I think the battle between those two will be one of the more exciting races in baseball this year. Their bullpens are not going to amazing you (Borowski and Jones as your closers…yikes!) but that doesn’t hurt you until the post-season. The rest of this division will be too weak and allowing both these team to build up a ton of wins. Guillén is fired by July as the White Socks realize that he is the worst manager in baseball.
I’m not buying the Mariners bandwagon. Bedard is good but he had arm injuries and King Felix has yet to make the jump. If the King and Bedard are great all year they certainly could win that relatively weak division, however, I see the M’s not taking advantage of the injuries to the Angels letting the Angels pull away down the stretch.
NL East NL Central NL West
Mets Brewers SD Padres
Phillies Cubs DBacks
Braves Cards Dodgers
Nats Astros Rockies
Marlins Reds Giants
. Pirates
NL Wild Card: Cubbies
The Mets/Phillies will be the 2nd most interesting battle all year. After the Mets epic collapse of last year that gave the Phillies the title it will be interesting to see how they respond. Neither teams staff is particularly amazing outside of Johan though I believe the Mets have the better potential guys in Maine, Pedro and Perez. Talk of the Braves winning the East amuses me.
I fucking hate Dusty Baker who apparently knows nothing of modern baseball and is a racist. I hope he and Cincy fail. I honestly don’t know if the Brewers can hold off the Cubs, particularly with the inevitable multiple DL stints of Sheets. Gagné and Wood as closers. Wow. We’ve already seen the fun that will bring to the heartland.
I like the Padres pitching to help them win in the West but who knows with that division. It seems if you win 81 games out here you are a juggernaut and play-off worthy. I think the Rockies story, while enjoyable, was a flash in the pan and they will have great difficulty making it back to the playoffs. The Astros pitching staff is so bad it actually is funny. Oswalt and glorified AAA pitchers. Enjoy that Houston fans.
ALDS and NLDS:
Red Socks in 5 over Cleveland in a great series
Tigers over Angels in 4
Mets over Cubs in 5 in a great series. Futility does not stop after 100 years.
Padres over Brewers in 4
ALCS and NLCS:
Tigers over Socks in 5 in a surprisingly easy series.
Mets over Padres in 6
World Series:
Mets over Tigers in 6
WS MVP: David Wright
NL Cy Young: Peavy
AL Cy Young: Verlander
NL MVP: David Wright
AL MVP: ARod
I think Wright wins as long as the Mets win the East. ARod will win despite the Yanks missing the playoffs as he puts up absolutely gigantic numbers yet again. 50+ HRs, 130ish RBI.
Please note that I reserve the right to alter these predictions throughout the year.
4 Responses to “Official (and useless) MLB Season Predictions v. 1.0”
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The Padres are 2-0 with consecutive victories over the Astros. I’m genuinely excited about this team having attended Opening Day.
Jake Peavy looks good, Chris Young looks good and that is expected. Hoffman got a save, great. But here is the awesome part about this team:
Tadahito Iguchi - 4-8, 2 doubles, 1 run scored
Paul McAnulty - 3-6
Scott Hairston - 1-3, 1HR, 2 RBI, 1BB (today’s game). I’m willing to overlook the 2 K’s and 0-4 showing on opening day.
If these 3 guys can put up decent numbers all year, Kouz can continue to improve and Edmonds can stay on the DL all year, I feel great about this team’s chances.
Looking ahead, I love that Maddux is our #3 starter and Randy Wolf our #4. Justin Germano is a decent #5 but I’m praying Mark Prior can actually do something for the team come July.
I’m genuinely excited about this team!!
“Looking ahead, I love that Maddux is our #3 starter and Randy Wolf our #4.”
Do you really love this?
I will never say anything negative about Greg Maddux - because he earned God status long ago and because I was genuinely disappointed that the Dodgers didn’t re-sign him - but you’ll be lucky if Randy Wolf just manages to stay off the DL. The guy went to my high school, took a hometown “discount” (discount maybe towards the questionable health of that arm of his as well?) in order to come back to L.A. and be near his mama/manager, and I’ll always pull for him to a certain extent, but I think you might have drank too much opening day Kool Aid if you’re genuinely pleased that he’s your team’s #4.
The Padres are like a guy you hate who would go out of his way to find and fuck some random ex-girlfriend of yours just in order to spite you. Ewww, Brett Tomko.
“Do you really love this?”
The fact that I can name our 5 starters and none of them sound like fake names is a plus. So yes, genuine love and excitement.
As for comparing the Pads to a dude who fucks your exes, I think of them more as that guy you forget went to school with you. High school graduation rolls around and all of a sudden they announce the salutatorian and it’s a guy you swore left after Freshman year.
The Padres are the same. All year long everyone rides on the Dodgers and D-Backs balls, and this year we get the added bonus of the Rockies being everyones “trendy pick.” Well when the year wraps up don’t be surprised to see SD atop the NL West or NL Wild Card.
I can’t believe we almost had three pennants in a row, but were denied by our most legendary player of the last 10 years and the son of our most legendary player of all time. If this shit had happened in NYC, LA, or CHI it would be referred to constantly. In fact, I’m making it a point to reference it as much as possible from here on out in as many posts as possible until it sticks in our readers’ craws!! All 10 of them.