Hey Brewer

DISCLAIMER: I spent the last 2 weeks out of the country so unfortunately most of my NCAA action was restricted to reading box scores on ESPN and sneaking peeks at my Blackberry score updates during lunch and dinner. I arrived back home over the weekend and was excited that I would get to watch the Memphis-Texas game as well as the Davidson-Kansas game.

The reason I give that disclaimer is because up until yesterday I was completely unaware of the existence of this ad by the Sheraton Hotel:

Who the fuck was the marketing genius behind this? I’m guessing it’s someone who did not attend any of the schools shown in the video. As a USC guy, I can tell you that the dislike for UCLA come sporting time is genuine. During the year it’s not such a big deal, the schools are located pretty far apart from each other and when we ventured into Westwood we weren’t worried about UCLA students shooting us. But prior to a big football game or in recent years a competitive inter-conference basketball game, there was a whole different atmosphere. I can guarantee you that no real Trojans fan would hold open an elevator or go out of their way to do anything for a Bruin at one of these events. Same goes for the Bruins…and that’s the way it should be.

Sports rivalries exist for a reason. They make games that much more interesting, they give you bragging rights regardless of all other elements, an entire season can be saved just by beating your crosstown rivals. Now this commercial comes along and pretends like these rivalries are no big deal?

I happened to be in Miami on vacation in 2005. My vacation coincided with the USC-Oklahoma game and I was staying at the “Official USC Alumni” hotel or whatever their title was. Basically it was the hotel that people were offered when they booked their flights through the USC Alumni Association. My being there was really a total coincidence as my trip had been planned months in advance, before we knew USC would be in this game (which they won 55-19 in case you forgot).

Anyway, I remember going into the city and the segregation between Trojan and Sooner fans was unreal. It looked like a junior high cafeteria. People were going out of their way not to associate with opposing fans. Keep in mind that the city, particularly South Beach, was at this point made up entirely of these 2 schools fans. Also, these weren’t college aged students shooting each other dirty looks, we’re talking about older, retired professionals. Successful, mostly white, couples literally staring each other down at bars/restaurants/corners/malls/etc.

My second problem with this commercial is the Lousville-Memphis rivalry. What is that about? I know Kentucky had an off year but don’t insult their rivalry by throwing Memphis in there. If you’re going to do a rivals commercial then make sure you have your matchups straight.

The last (and biggest) problem is that last scene. Ignoring the rivalry part of the commercial, if a friend of mine was to reach over and wipe some ranch off my lip then follow it up with that shit eating grin, I’m pretty sure some shit would go down. Now imagine if instead of a friend it was a stranger and that stranger was wearing a rival school’s colors, again I’m pretty sure it would not be a pretty scene.

So Sheraton, good job playing down college rivalries during the most intense sporting month for college fans. I can’t wait to see what other gems you have for us in the future.