Hey Brewer

Because let’s face it, it looks like Shaq, it acts like Shaq, but that ain’t no Shaq. Or at least that ain’t no superman Shaq. But you, sports fan, know that. Sports media knows that. This guy hasn’t played in a month, and when he was playing with the Heat this year it was even money that he’d reach 6 fouls before he reached 6 boards.

So why play him so many minutes? It was his debut with the Suns also; common sense would dictate that there’s no way a practice or two would already make him fit into their system, and if ever there was a case of making a rotund, cheezburger-buffet round peg fit into a square hole, this is it.

So common sense says, trot him out there for the home crowd, but try to win the damn game with what got you here, the run-n-gun, shoot in 8 seconds Nash-ball. After all, this is against the Los Angeles Lakers, winners of 8 of 9, and one game behind in the standings.

But what happened. The game was already on national television, but had the added intrigue of the Shaq - Kobe love/hatefest that attracts fake sports fans who like celebrities. D’Antoni played Shaq 29 minutes. You can’t tell me there wasn’t pressure put on him to play Shaq as much as he could. And give the big guy credit, he wants to play and he wants to do well and he will defer to his team to help them win. Unfortunately, it’s in that order. So in that 4th quarter, when he should be saying Coach, take me out and have Steve and Amare and Leandro run up and down the floor, he’s out there like a sweaty leviathan, huffing and puffing and knocking the occasional ugly bucket down.

Hours earlier, and thousands of miles to the East, another game was played. A much bigger game on the world stage, the Champions League first leg between Celtic and FC Barçelona. Celtic are a lovable bunch, they beat AC Milan earlier at home and feature a big Dutchie in the front with a fantasic last name, Vennegoor of Hesselink, and a mecurial and slightly nasty Japanese midfielder named Nakamura. On the other side of the ball, some of the most fearsome attackers ever to play in Europe, the little wunderkind Messi, the best number 9 in the world Eto’o, and Gillette spokesman Henry. Oh, and then there was Ronaldinho, 2 time world player of the year, 2 time La Liga champion, WC winner, media darling, goofy smile owner, and recently in the doghouse in Barçelona.

It turns out now, that some of his “rough patch”, to put it mildly, is not just due to tales of rampant all night parties that ended in the wee hours with him in the trunk of a car, laughing uproariously while Brazil co-star and Real Madrid sworn enemy Robinho sat in the driver’s seat, his feet barely touching the pedals, as they drove donuts in the streets. There’s also the matter of tendinitis, finally diagnosed and reported to the public only a couple of weeks ago, while his form has been dropping steadily since the failure of the WCC championship in December of 2006. But let’s bring up old shit.

But if Ronaldinho’s 2007 form was as bad as Shaquille O’Neal’s Krispy-Kreme and painkillers 2007, both there 2008 are similarly on the rebound, and in starting-ly similar fashion. Cause in yesterday’s Celtic - Barça match, guess who started and played 75 minutes, although he hasn’t started in months and has played little more than 30 minutes in any of them? You guesses it, Ronaldinho. Was there pressure on Frank Rjikaard, the manager of Barçelona, to play more Ronnie under the big lights for the whole world to see? Who knows… all we know is that Ronaldinho wants to play, he wants to do well, and he’s willing to defer to his teammates to ensure a victory. In that order.

Actually, he did quite well, and picked off a pass in the back that fed Henry for a scintillating equalizer, a shot Thierry has made many times in England: a curling right-footed shot from the edge of the box that arced past the keeper, glanced off the post and in. You would think the Scots would have known it was coming.

You would also think they would have crowded Ronaldinho and Messi more, and played more Hack-a-Shaq on them, like the Lakers did to Shaq at the end of the first half, and like most teams in La Liga do to Messi and Ronaldinho on a consistent basis; for every 10 fouls you maybe only get whistled 6 times, so that’s 4 free cheap shots, why not? It’s akin to putting Shaq on the line; he might make a crucial basket, but most of the time it’s a free rebound.

Well, maybe they meant to hack Ronaldinho, but they couldn’t catch him to do it. That’s the difference right there. Shaq is too big to hide.